‫- PREVIOUSLY ON ‫AWKWARD...
‫- YOU LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING. ‫YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT.
‫YOU'RE NOT ANYTHING. ‫AND IF YOU EVER COME BACK HERE,
‫THEN I WILL TELL EVERYBODY ‫THE TRUTH.
‫- I FEEL BAD ABOUT ‫HOW WE ENDED THINGS.
‫- HE SAID I WAS A GOOD PERSON.
‫- THAT SON OF A BITCH.
‫- JENNA, I'M SORRY ‫FOR NOT TRUSTING YOU.
‫- NEW YEAR'S EVE--
‫A NIGHT FOR SAYING GOOD-BYE ‫TO THE OLD
‫AND HELLO TO THE NEW.
‫"THE OLD" BEING PSYCHO EVA
‫WHO ALMOST DESTROYED ‫MY FRIENDSHIP WITH MATTY
‫WHILE SABOTAGING ‫MY RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKE.
‫YET, IT WAS HIGH TIME ‫TO USHER IN THE NEW
‫WITH A QUIET NIGHT AT HOME.
‫JUST ME, MATTY, ‫AND A BOTTLE OF CHEAP CHAMPAGNE.
‫- ARE YOU HAVING ‫SOME ROMANTIC RENDEZVOUS
‫I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
‫I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ‫YOU AND MATTY.
‫- IT IS.
‫- OH. ‫- IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.
‫WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.
‫MATTY ASKED TO COME OVER ‫TONIGHT
‫AND I THOUGHT ‫I'D MAKE IT SPECIAL
‫SINCE THIS IS OUR ‫LAST NEW YEAR'S EVE TOGETHER.
‫- WAIT, IF IT'S ‫JUST YOU AND MATTY,
‫WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ‫AT MIDNIGHT?
‫ARE YOU GONNA KISS? ‫- NO.
‫THAT'S NOT WHAT ‫THIS IS ABOUT.
‫- ALL I'M SAYING IS ‫YOU'RE BOTH SINGLE
‫AND ON THE REBOUND.
‫HE MAY HAVE A DIFFERENT IDEA ‫OF WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
‫[phone chimes]
‫YOUR FATHER KEEPS ‫DRUNK-DIALING ME.
‫HE SHOULD'VE JUST GONE
‫TO ALLY'S PARTY WITH ME ‫INSTEAD OF BRO-ING OUT
‫AT SOME STUPID FOOTBALL GAME.
‫HI, HON.
‫I KNOW I'M HOTTER ‫THAN THOSE CHEERLEADERS!
‫- WOULD MATTY REALLY EXPECT ‫A KISS AT MIDNIGHT?
‫IS THAT WHY HE INVITED ‫HIMSELF OVER?
‫I HIGHLY DOUBTED IT, ‫BUT WHEN IT CAME TO MATTY,
‫I'D BEEN WRONG BEFORE.
‫[phone buzzes]
‫HAPPY NEW YEAR.
‫- "HAPPY"? HAPPY?
‫HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE ‫A HAPPY NEW YEAR
‫WHEN YOU'VE ABANDONED ME ‫LIKE A BABY
‫IN A DUMPSTER ‫OUTSIDE OF PROM?
‫- I'M SORRY.
‫MATTY WANTED A QUIET NIGHT IN.
‫I DON'T THINK HE'S READY ‫TO DEAL
‫WITH PEOPLE ASKING HIM ‫ABOUT EVA.
‫- MAYBE HE CAN CHOOSE ANOTHER ‫NIGHT TO PLAY J.D. SALINGER?
‫ONE THAT WON'T MAKE ‫MY NEW YEAR'S AULD LANG SUCK.
‫- IT'S NOT JUST HIM.
‫I THOUGHT I'D BE SPENDING ‫TONIGHT WITH LUKE.
‫JUST NOT UP ‫TO PARTYING RIGHT NOW.
‫- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, ‫ROLL SOLO TO YOGURTLAND?
‫[doorbell rings]
‫- OKAY, HEY, I GOTTA GO.
‫MATTY'S HERE, ‫BUT HAPPY NEW YEAR,
‫AND I'LL TALK TO YOU ‫TOMORROW.
‫[dreamy music]
‫*
‫[both mumbling, laughing]
‫both: HEY! ‫- HAPPY NEW YEAR!
‫- ARE WE EARLY? ‫WERE YOU GUYS HAVING DINNER?
‫- NOPE. ‫TAMARA'S ON HER WAY.
‫AND THE TABLE IS ‫FOR MY PARENTS.
‫- HI, MATTY.
‫DO YOU LIKE THE TABLE ‫JENNA SET UP FOR YOU TWO?
‫SHE SPENT ALL DAY COOKING.
‫- MY SOLO NIGHT WITH MATTY
‫HAD TURNED ‫INTO A GROUP AFFAIR.
‫SO MUCH FOR ANY CHANCE ‫OF A MIDNIGHT KISS,
‫BUT IT WAS NICE TO HAVE ‫MY CLOSEST FRIENDS
‫BACK TOGETHER, ‫DRAMA-FREE.
‫- "I RESOLVE TO SHAVE."
‫THIS IS OBVIOUSLY FOR JAKE ‫TO GET RID OF HIS 2:00 SHADOW.
‫- NOPE, I WROTE THAT ONE FOR YOU ‫TO SHAVE YOUR LEGS.
‫[laughter]
‫- FUN RESOLUTION GAME, JENNA.
‫THANKS FOR INVITING ME
‫TO YOUR EXCLUSIVE PARTY ‫AT THE VERY LAST MINUTE.
‫- YOU'RE WELCOME.
‫MATTY, YOUR TURN.
‫- [clears throat]
‫"I RESOLVE ‫TO STOP DATING PSYCHOS
‫WHO FAKE THEIR PREGNANCY."
‫- YOU GUYS, WHO WROTE THAT?
‫NOT COOL. ‫- EVERYONE, RELAX.
‫I WROTE IT FOR MYSELF. ‫IT'S A JOKE.
‫- YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY? ‫- YEAH.
‫WE CAN JOKE ABOUT THINGS.
‫PLEASE, IT MAKES ME ‫FEEL NORMAL.
‫- "NORMAL." ‫WHAT A WONDERFUL WORD.
‫AND MATTY AND I WERE ON ‫THE PATH BACK TO NORMALCY.
‫BUT WHAT WAS NORMAL FOR US?
‫FRIENDS? ‫OR SOMETHING MORE?
‫- PASS THESE. ‫- HI, TY TY.
‫- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
‫THAT'S LISSA'S FAKE BROTHER, ‫NOT A WAITER.
‫- OH, MY BAD.
‫- AND THAT'S MY FRIEND, ‫SERGIO, YOU RACIST.
‫NO ONE HERE IS THE HELP.
‫- UH, YEAH. YOU ARE.
‫WHY DO YOU THINK I TOLD
‫YOU AND BLONDIE ‫TO WEAR BLACK AND WHITE
‫AND INVITE YOUR FRIENDS?
‫[doorbell rings] ‫OOH.
‫THAT MUST BE MY PI PHI DELTS.
‫HOLD ON TO YOUR BRAS, BITCHES.
‫WHAT UP, SLUTS?
‫[all cheering]
‫- HAPPY NEW YEAR!
‫- HI. ‫HI.
‫- OH, COULD YOU HOLD BRONSON?
‫- [baby spits] ‫- [gasps]
‫- OH, I'M SO SORRY.
‫HABLAS INGLES?
‫- ALLY WANTS A PARTY? ‫I'LL GIVE HER A PARTY.
‫THIS THING IS GOING WIDE.
‫"COME TO 16 LAS RICAS PLACE
‫"FOR THE BIGGEST ‫NEW YEAR'S EVE BASH EVER.
‫TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS."
‫[phones ring, chime, honk]
‫- SADIE'S HAVING A PARTY ‫AT HER AUNT'S HOUSE.
‫WE SHOULD GO, ‫NOT THAT THIS ISN'T FUN.
‫- MY MOM'S THERE. ‫WHO WOULD WANT TO GO TO THAT?
‫- UH, A LOT OF PEOPLE.
‫- LET'S GO.
‫- I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ‫TO HAVE A QUIET NIGHT.
‫- OH, THAT'S WHY THIS ‫IS SO LAME.
‫- NO, THIS HAS BEEN GREAT,
‫BUT SADIE'S COULD BE FUN TOO.
‫- I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE
‫YOU'D WANT TO TALK OR-- ‫- ENOUGH.
‫ARE YOU TWO PLAYING FOR GOLD ‫IN THE OLYMPIC LAMES?
‫JENNA, MATTY, ‫STOP MOPING.
‫MOVE ON.
‫[bleep] IT!
‫- YEAH. WHAT SHE SAID. ‫[bleep] IT.
‫- YOU KNOW WHAT? WE SHOULD MAKE ‫A [bleep] IT LIST.
‫EVERYTHING WE THOUGHT ‫WE COULDN'T DO,
‫'CAUSE WE WERE TOO SAD ‫OR TOO SCARED,
‫WE SHOULD JUST CARPE DO IT!
‫Y.O.G.O.-- ‫YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE.
‫SO SKIP CLASS ‫AND HOOK UP WITH A RANDO,
‫AND GO TO SADIE'S RAGER.
‫- HELL YEAH.
‫[clears throat] ‫- WHOO.
‫ONLY PROBLEM IS I DON'T ‫WANT TO HOOK UP WITH A RANDO.
‫- YEAH, ME EITHER.
‫HEY, I HAVE ‫A RESOLUTION FOR US.
‫EH, IT'S MORE OF A PACT.
‫- OKAY. ‫- NEITHER OF US HOOKS UP.
‫IF WE SEE THE OTHER FLIRTING,
‫THEN WE SWOOP IN ‫AND STOP IT LIKE A--
‫- REVERSE WINGMAN. ‫- SO CAN WE GO?
‫- WHY DID MATTY MAKE ‫THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT?
‫WAS IT FOR FUN ‫OR DID HE WANT TO MAKE SURE
‫WE WERE TOGETHER ‫AT MIDNIGHT?
‫MAYBE THERE REALLY WAS ‫A KISS IN OUR FUTURE.
‫ALL RIGHT. ‫LET'S GO.
‫- WHY DID ALLY INVITE ‫BARBARA MCKIBBEN?
‫SHE HATES ME.
‫- SHE INVITED THE ENTIRE P.T.A.
‫ODDS ARE SHE WAS DRUNK ‫AT THE TIME.
‫- MMM.
‫- KAMIKAZE, DADDY?
‫MOMMY? ‫- MMM. THANKS, HONEY.
‫- YOU KNOW I DON'T DRINK ‫HARD ALCOHOL, MISSY.
‫- BUT THERE'S THAT BOTTLE ‫OF VODKA IN THE LAUNDRY HAMPER.
‫- IT'S TOUGH ON STAINS.
‫TYLER, I'LL TAKE WHATEVER ‫YOU HAVE.
‫THANK YOU.
‫- MMM.
‫MMM. ‫- SHOT?
‫- OH, NO, THANKS. ‫I'M ON A CLEANSE.
‫- OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
‫I HAVE ‫AN 18-YEAR UNBROKEN STREAK
‫OF THROWING KICK-ASS PARTIES.
‫IT DOES NOT END TONIGHT!
‫TIME TO PUT SOME SPICE ‫ON THIS ICE.
‫- ICE LUGE!
‫SADIE TEXTED ME SAYING ‫THERE IS AN ICE LUGE!
‫- I AM SO EXCITED.
‫I HOPE THAT ‫DUMB YUM WRESTLER PETE IS HERE.
‫HE'S NUMBER ONE ON ‫MY [bleep] IT LIST.
‫I NEED TO FINISH WHAT ‫I STARTED IN SNOW VALLEY
‫AND TAP HIM OUT. ‫- [grunts]
‫HOLLA, PARTY PEOPLE!
‫WHO'S READY TO GET ‫THIS NEW YEAR'S JAM ON?
‫[door closes]
‫- OH.
‫- NICE ONE. ‫- HEY, GUYS.
‫I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE.
‫THIS PARTY IS SO LAME.
‫AND JENNA'S FATHER ‫ABANDONED ME TO GO
‫TO SOME STUPID SPLENDA BOWL.
‫both: SUGAR. ‫- WHATEVER.
‫WHICH LEAVES ME HERE ‫WITH VAL WHO I LOVE,
‫BUT...
‫YOU KNOW?
‫- HI, MATTY.
‫TAMELA, JAKE, JENNA.
‫- MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
‫- ALLY INVITED ME.
‫I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HERE. ‫I DON'T KNOW ANYONE.
‫- WELL, I DO.
‫- LOOKS LIKE MATTY NEEDED ‫LESS OF A COCK BLOCK
‫AND MORE OF AN EMOTIONAL ROCK.
‫HE AND HIS MOM WERE CLEARLY ‫STILL NOT ON GOOD TERMS.
‫[doorbell rings]
‫- IT'S A NEW YEAR'S MIRACLE!
‫[all cheering]
‫[energetic dance music]
‫*
‫- WELCOME, EVERYBODY!
‫HAPPY NEW YEAR!
‫- WHAT DID YOU DO?
‫- I INVITED ‫THE ENTIRE SCHOOL...DISTRICT.
‫YOUR GERIATRIC SNORE-FEST
‫JUST TURNED INTO ‫A HIGH SCHOOL RAGER.
‫- THANK YOU.
‫- SO MUCH FOR A NIGHT ‫OF GETTING CLOSER TO MATTY.
‫I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ‫HALF THE PEOPLE THERE
‫AND HADN'T SEEN MATTY ‫FOR AN HOUR.
‫THE WAY THINGS WERE GOING,
‫WE'D NEVER BE TOGETHER ‫AT MIDNIGHT.
‫- THERE'S PETE. ‫I'M GOING IN.
‫BUT FIRST, ‫SOME LIQUID COURAGE.
‫- HEY. EXCUSE ME.
‫WHEW.
‫THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL.
‫BETTER LET ME GET IT FOR YOU.
‫- [clears throat]
‫- CAN I SEE SOME I.D., SON?
‫- UH, I-I, UH-- ‫- DON'T HAVE ONE?
‫LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE ‫TO CUFF YOU.
‫- OFFICER, ‫I'VE BEEN BAD.
‫CUFF ME.
‫[dance music]
‫- THAT FAKE-OUT ‫WAS PRETTY GOOD,
‫BUT I KNEW YOU HIRED ‫A STRIPPER.
‫I TOTALLY KNEW THAT. ‫I'M GONNA NEED A DRINK.
‫- I'M TAKING ‫ALL YOU FINE LADIES DOWN...
‫TOWN.
‫- WHOO!
‫UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
‫- NEVER HAD COCK-BLOCKING ‫BEEN SO LITERAL.
‫HOW WAS HANGING WITH MATTY ‫SO HARD?
‫WRONG WORD. ‫DIFFICULT.
‫[all shouting, whistling]
‫- HEY, DO YOU GUYS KNOW ‫WHOSE PARTY THIS IS?
‫I JUST HEARD IT'S LIKE ‫A FORMER RICH BITCH
‫WHOSE MOM JUST, ‫LIKE, BAILED ON HER
‫AND NOW SHE HAS TO LIVE AT HOME ‫WITH HER DRUNK AUNT.
‫SO DARK. ‫- YOU KNOW WHAT'S DARK?
‫THE DUNGEON WHERE I KEEP ‫RUDE PEOPLE WHO RUN THEIR MOUTH.
‫YOU WANT TO SEE IT?
‫- I DON'T NEED YOU ‫TO DEFEND ME.
‫- YOWZER.
‫THERE'S A COUGAR IS ‫ON THE PROWL.
‫- I'M NATALIE.
‫OH, DO YOU GUYS GO TO SCU?
‫- UH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
‫- COLLEGE WAS ‫SUCH A GREAT TIME.
‫- IT'S GREAT. ‫- YEAH.
‫- SO WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR?
‫- HE'S IN BEAUTY SCHOOL.
‫HE'S TOTALLY CHANGED ‫MY APPROACH TO EYE SHADOW.
‫- SHE THOUGHT ‫SHE WAS AN AUTUMN.
‫[laughs] ‫CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
‫- I CAN'T BELIEVE WHATEVER ‫IT IS YOU'RE DOING.
‫- HEY, JAKE. ‫PLAY US A SONG.
‫- OH. ‫- OH, ARE YOU A SINGER?
‫- I AM WHATEVER YOU WANT ME
‫* TO BE
‫[vocalizing]
‫* GIRL
‫- I KNOW SOMEONE ELSE
‫WHO WOULD LOVE THE SOUND ‫OF YOUR VOICE.
‫COME UPSTAIRS.
‫- UPSTAIRS?
‫- [mouths silently] ‫THREESOME.
‫- [chuckles]
‫- THAT'S MADISON.
‫DO YOU KNOW ANY LULLABIES?
‫- OH. ‫UM...
‫- * HEY, DJ
‫- HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ‫WHAT AN "AUTUMN" IS?
‫- COSMO.
‫- COCK-BLOCKING MATTY ‫WAS KIND OF FUN.
‫THIS WASN'T HOW I THOUGHT ‫WE'D RECONNECT,
‫BUT HEY, ‫WHEN IN ROME OR ALLY'S.
‫- HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
‫- OH, UM, I'M--
‫- OH, SO SORRY ‫TO INTERRUPT, JENNA,
‫BUT YOU'VE GOT THIS HUGE BAT ‫IN THE CAVE.
‫SHE'S GETTING OVER ‫A NASTY COLD, MAN.
‫[groans]
‫HEY, DUDE, ‫THIS KEG IS KICKED!
‫- I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
‫- MATTY WASN'T GETTING AWAY ‫THAT EASY.
‫WAIT, MATTY WAS GETTING AWAY.
‫- HEY, I'M OWEN. ‫- NICE TO MEET YOU, OWEN.
‫- ISN'T THIS ‫THE BEST PARTY EVER?
‫- YEAH, IT'S FULL OF KIDS.
‫DON'T YOU FEEL ‫A LITTLE OUT OF PLACE?
‫- HONEY, JUST RELAX. ‫HAVE FUN.
‫I'M GONNA GET A WINE COOLER. ‫DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?
‫- HAPPY NEW YEAR!
‫[cheers and applause]
‫- LOOKS LIKE ‫YOUR MOM'S HAVING FUN.
‫- YEAH, IT'S EMBARRASSING.
‫- HEY, AT LEAST YOUR MOM KNOWS ‫HOW TO HAVE FUN.
‫- HAVE YOU TALKED TO HER ‫ABOUT ANYTHING?
‫- I DON'T KNOW ‫HOW TO TALK TO HER.
‫- REMEMBER ‫WHEN MY MOM WROTE ME
‫THE CAREFRONTATION LETTER?
‫- YEAH, THAT WAS BRUTAL.
‫- BEYOND.
‫AND I THOUGHT ‫I WOULD NEVER FORGIVE HER,
‫BUT I'M GLAD I DID.
‫I REALIZED THAT ADULTS ARE ‫JUST PEOPLE,
‫MAKING IT UP AS THEY GO ALONG.
‫YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER.
‫- YEAH, MAYBE I'LL TRY.
‫- WE NEED TO FIND ‫SOMEPLACE PRIVATE.
‫- ANYWHERE. ‫I NEED TO KISS YOU.
‫- AAH!
‫OH, MY GOD!
‫DADDY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
‫- LISSA!
‫THIS MAN TOLD ME ‫HE WAS A POLICE OFFICER!
‫I SWEAR.
‫- YOU MEAN HE MADE YOU ‫LICK HIS TUMMY?
‫- WHA--
‫WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
‫LISSA?
‫- I SAW DADDY--
‫I SAW A DADDY LONGLEGS.
‫- OH. ‫WELL, KILL IT.
‫THEY'RE OPENING A '95 MOET ‫IN THE LIVING ROOM.
‫COME, TYLER. ‫- I'D LOVE SOME BUBBLY.
‫LET'S GO. ‫- [laughs]
‫- OKAY, WHAT WERE ‫YOU REALLY SCREAMING AT?
‫- I THINK MY DAD MIGHT BE GAY.
‫- OKAY.
‫HE IS SO GAY.
‫HIS OBSESSION ‫WITH SPIN CLASS,
‫SHOES, AND JESUS' ABS ‫TIPS IT OFF.
‫RELAX. ‫IT'S A GOOD THING.
‫NOW HE CAN FINALLY COME OUT, ‫INSTEAD OF HIDING
‫IN THAT CLOSET FULL ‫OF YELLOW PANTS.
‫YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR MOM.
‫- I CAN'T! ‫THAT WOULD KILL HER.
‫IS IT EVEN MY SECRET TO TELL?
‫JESUS DOES HAVE GREAT ABS.
‫[dance music]
‫- YOU'VE GOT GREAT MOVES, ‫TAMARA.
‫- YOU DON'T KNOW ‫THE HALF OF IT.
‫[plays guitar]
‫- YOU'RE AMAZING.
‫IT USUALLY TAKES FOREVER ‫FOR HER TO FALL ASLEEP.
‫- I'M HAPPY TO HELP. ‫SHE'S REALLY CUTE.
‫- YOU'RE REALLY CUTE.
‫- WHO DO YOU HAVE THERE?
‫- SHE WAS MY HORSE.
‫- "WAS" YOUR HORSE? ‫DID SHE QUIT?
‫- NO, I HAD HER ‫WHEN I WAS RICH,
‫BEFORE MY DAD WENT TO PRISON ‫AND MY MOM ABANDONED ME.
‫- I'M SORRY, SADITA.
‫- DON'T FEEL BAD FOR ME.
‫- I'LL DO WHAT I WANT TO, BITCH.
‫- PUSSY.
‫- WHERE'S JAKE? ‫IT'S ALMOST MIDNIGHT.
‫I WANTED US ALL TO BE TOGETHER.
‫- I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT ‫TO INTERRUPT HIM RIGHT NOW.
‫- SO WHERE'S TAMARA?
‫AH, OKAY.
‫SHE'S OUT.
‫- JUST YOU AND ME.
‫LET'S FIND SOME FANCY BOOZE ‫FOR OUR MIDNIGHT TOAST.
‫- PERFECT.
‫SO IT WOULD BE JUST ‫ME AND MATTY AT MIDNIGHT,
‫A NEW YEAR STARTING OFF ‫WITH A LOT OF PROMISE.
‫OH.
‫LOOKS LIKE YOUR MOM'S HAVING ‫A GREAT TIME...
‫WITH MY MOM.
‫OH, GOD. ‫THEY'RE COMING TOWARDS US.
‫- WHAT UP, KIDS? ‫- HI, GUYS!
‫- WHAT UP...MOMS? ‫[laughter]
‫- ARE YOU GUYS HAVING FUN?
‫- YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? ‫- [blows raspberry]
‫- IT TURNS OUT LACEY ‫AND I HAVE A LOT MORE
‫IN COMMON ‫THAN WE THOUGHT.
‫WE'RE GONNA START ‫A BOOK AND WINE CLUB.
‫- OR MAYBE JUST WINE. ‫- RIGHT, MAYBE JUST WINE.
‫- I HAD NEVER SEEN ‫MATTY'S MOM LIKE THIS.
‫SHE SEEMED HUMAN.
‫- [chuckles]
‫- OH, NO. ‫- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
‫I WANT TO HANG ‫WITH MY NEW BESTIE, BARB.
‫- YOU HAVE TO LET THEM TALK.
‫- NEW BESTIE? WHAT?
‫[thud] ‫OH, COME ON.
‫- BETTER GO DO DAMAGE CONTROL.
‫- VAL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT! ‫I DIDN'T!
‫- LOOKED LIKE MATTY AND I ‫HAD A LOT TO CELEBRATE.
‫I NEEDED TO FIND SOMETHING NICE ‫FOR OUR MIDNIGHT TOAST.
‫I WANTED IT TO BE PERFECT.
‫- TYLER, I FEEL LIKE I'VE BARELY ‫SEEN YOU ALL NIGHT.
‫- I'VE BEEN SHOWING HIM ‫AROUND THE HOUSE.
‫- AREN'T WE ‫AN ATTENTIVE LITTLE HOSTESS?
‫BUT LET'S ‫NOT MONOPOLIZE HIM, OKAY?
‫- YOUR MOTHER'S RIGHT, ‫LISSA.
‫YOU NEED TO SHARE.
‫- YOU'RE RIGHT, DADDY,
‫WE SHOULD ALL SHARE.
‫DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ‫YOU WANT TO SHARE?
‫PLEASE?
‫- NO.
‫- WELL, THEN,
‫I DO.
‫I DON'T THINK IT'S HEALTHY ‫TO LIVE A LIE.
‫SO I WANT TO SHARE THAT--
‫THAT...
‫I'M IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER!
‫- [gasps]
‫- NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING ‫YOU TO SAY,
‫BUT IMPRESSIVE NONETHELESS.
‫- WORD.
‫- AH, I FEEL ‫SO MUCH BETTER NOW.
‫DADDY, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ‫YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY?
‫- YES, I DO.
‫I'M SO GLAD YOU CONFESSED ‫YOUR SINS, LISSA.
‫GOD FORGIVES.
‫- WELL, HE MIGHT,
‫BUT ONLY AFTER BUCKETS ‫OF ATONEMENT.
‫LUST WITHIN THE BOSOM ‫OF THE FAMILY
‫IS A VILE SIN!
‫- THERE WAS NO BOSOM. ‫IT WAS OVER THE SHIRT.
‫- [playsPachelbel's Canon]
‫- IS THAT GREEN DAY?
‫- OH, HEY.
‫- OWEN, RIGHT? ‫- YEAH.
‫HI, JENNA. ‫- SORRY TO INTERRUPT.
‫IT JUST SOUNDED LIKE YOU ‫WERE PLAYING BASKET CASE.
‫AND THAT WAS, LIKE, ‫MY FAVORITE SONG AS A KID.
‫- WELL, ‫TECHNICALLY YOU'RE RIGHT.
‫BUT I PREFER ‫THE CLASSICAL VERSION.
‫PACHELBEL'S CANON IN "D."
‫*
‫- WOW.
‫- WELL, NOTHING SAYS PUNK ROCK ‫LIKE RIPPING OFF
‫A DEAD 17TH CENTURY COMPOSER, ‫SO...
‫[plays Symphony No. 5]
‫- OH, IS THAT ‫THAT ROBIN THICKE ONE,
‫WHEN I GET YOU ALONE?
‫- SLIGHTLY MORE OBVIOUS,
‫BETTER KNOWN ‫AS BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH.
‫*
‫- THAT IS SO COOL. ‫- YEP.
‫YOU WERE A CLASSICAL MUSIC FAN, ‫AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT.
‫- HEY, I'M SORRY ‫I WAS SO RUDE EARLIER.
‫I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEONE.
‫- OH, NO WORRIES.
‫- WELL, IT WAS NICE ‫TO SEE YOU,
‫AND I BETTER GO.
‫- LOOK FOR SOMEONE. ‫GOT IT.
‫- BYE.
‫- OOH.
‫- MOM, I'M SORRY ‫I'VE GIVEN YOU
‫SO MUCH [bleep] ‫THESE PAST FEW MONTHS.
‫- MATTY, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.
‫YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH ‫THE [bleep] WRINGER.
‫- MOM.
‫- DON'T TELL YOUR FATHER.
‫BUT AFTER A FEW PINOT GRIGIOS, ‫I TURN INTO CHRIS ROCK.
‫I'M THE ONE ‫WHO SHOULD BE SORRY.
‫I REALLY--I COULD'VE HANDLED ‫THINGS SO MUCH BETTER.
‫I'M NOT EXACTLY ‫A PERFECT MOTHER.
‫- WELL, I'M NOT EXACTLY ‫THE PERFECT SON.
‫- THANKS.
‫- MIDNIGHT WAS APPROACHING, ‫AND NO SIGN OF MATTY.
‫HE SAID HE WANTED TO BE ‫TOGETHER, BUT WHERE WAS HE?
‫HEY.
‫HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN MATTY?
‫- NO. ‫- I DID.
‫HE TOOK OFF WITH ‫SOME OLDER CHICK.
‫- HIS MOM?
‫- I THINK HIS MOM'S ‫WITH YOUR MOM.
‫HELLO, HELL FROZEN OVER.
‫ANYONE HAVE A FIRE POPSICLE?
‫- IT WAS SOME HOT COUGAR CHICK
‫WHO WAS TOTALLY HAMMERED ‫AND SO READY TO THROW DOWN.
‫- PETE, FOCUS.
‫- NOT ONLY DID MATTY ‫NOT CARE ABOUT BEING TOGETHER
‫AT MIDNIGHT, BUT HE CLEARLY ‫WASN'T REALLY WORRIED
‫ABOUT OUR ‫NO-HOOK-UP PACT EITHER.
‫ALL I KNEW WAS I DIDN'T WANT ‫TO START A NEW YEAR
‫FEELING REJECTED BY HIM.
‫BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
‫AND THE NEW YEAR IS SUPPOSED ‫TO BE...NEW.
‫- [plays piano]
‫[music stops]
‫- DO YOU TAKE REQUESTS?
‫- HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN JENNA?
‫- MM.
‫- TEN SECONDS TO MIDNIGHT!
‫all: TEN, NINE, ‫EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX,
‫FIVE, FOUR, THREE,
‫TWO, ONE!
‫HAPPY NEW YEAR!
‫- * ALL WE GOTTA DO
‫* IS KEEP THIS SECRET
‫* WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET
‫* ALL WE GOTTA DO
‫* IS KEEP THIS SECRET
‫* WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET
‫* ALL WE GOTTA DO
‫* IS KEEP THIS SECRET
‫* WE CAN KEEP THIS SECRET
‫*
‫MATTY AND I HAD BOTH FAILED ‫AT OUR NO-HOOK-UP PACT,
‫BUT NOT AT RENEWING ‫OUR FRIENDSHIP.
‫OWEN AND I HADN'T EXCHANGED ‫NUMBERS OR EVEN LAST NAMES.
‫HE WAS ‫THE PERFECT MIDNIGHT KISS--
‫NO COMPLICATIONS.
‫AND WE ONLY WENT ‫TO SECOND BASE,
‫SO AS FAR ‫AS I WAS CONCERNED,
‫I HAD A VERY CLEAN SLATE.
‫OH, LOOK ‫WHO CAME UP FOR AIR.
‫- MY FACE IS ACTUALLY SORE ‫FROM MAKING OUT WITH PETE.
‫HE IS CROSSED OFF ‫MY "[bleep] IT" LIST.
‫- GROSS. I'M GLAD MY ‫MIDNIGHT KISS WASN'T LIKE THAT.
‫- YOU BROKE ‫THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT?
‫- WELL, IF YOU CALL KISSING ‫MY MOM ON THE CHEEK
‫BREAKING THE PACT.
‫WHICH I WOULDN'T, ‫BECAUSE IT'S GROSS.
‫- YEAH, I WOULDN'T WANT ‫TO BE KISSING ANY OLD MOMS.
‫- WAIT, YOUR MOM? ‫- YEAH, I TALKED TO HER.
‫IT WAS REALLY GOOD. ‫- GOOD.
‫- WHERE WERE YOU ‫AT MIDNIGHT, JENNA?
‫- YEAH, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.
‫- UH...
‫DOES THAT GUY GO ‫TO OUR SCHOOL?
‫- OWEN?
‫SOPHOMORE IN ORCHESTRA.
‫WHO CARES? ‫WHERE WERE YOU AT MIDNIGHT?
‫[gasps] OH, MY GOD, ‫DID YOU BREAK THE PACT?
‫- MY CLEAN SLATE HAD SUDDENLY ‫BECOME A BIT DIRTY.
‫NOT ONLY DID I BREAK ‫THE NO-HOOK-UP PACT,
‫BUT I DID IT WITH ‫A SOPHOMORE.
‫NO, I WAS ‫WITH MY MOM ALSO.
‫- [laughs] ‫- OUTSIDE.
‫SHE WAS PUKING. ‫- MM.
‫WOW. ‫LOOKS LIKE WE DID IT.
‫ALTHOUGH YOU OWE ME ‫A MIDNIGHT KISS.
‫- MAKE THAT A VERY DIRTY SLATE.
‫- NEXT ON AWKWARD... ‫- JENNA!
‫YOU HAD NO IDEA I WENT HERE, ‫DID YOU?
‫- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
‫- WE ARE HELPING OUT ‫AT THE CAREER FAIR.
‫- THERE'S SOMETHING ‫I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU.
‫- FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, ‫JUST SAY IT, DARLING.
‫- THIS IS A LOT HARDER ‫THAN I THOUGHT.
‫- TODAY WAS THE DAY THAT
‫SCU SENT OUT ‫THEIR ADMISSIONS DECISSIONS.
‫ANY MINUTE NOW, ‫I'D RECEIVE AN EMAIL
‫THAT COULD CHANGE ‫MY LIFE FOREVER.
‫- I'M IN! JENNA? ‫- UM...